Author's Note: This is a parody. The opinions expressed here are the exact opposite of those of a smart person.
President Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize today, and a lot of Americans are upset. And I understand that. I mean we just get done celebrating his epic loss in the bid to host the Olympics in our own country, and now this.
I mean, come on! There are still people without jobs. There are still people without insurance. We've been at war for eight years...
...what am I missing here? Things are great!
But then, "Oh excuse me, we need to 'think green,' we need to insure everybody, the banks have too much power, and by the way my middle name is Hussein and I heart terrorists!"
The guy does nothing but whine for a year, and the folks at Nobel -- socialists from another country -- give him a medal.
Well let me ask one question: where was the Nobel committee on 9/11? Where were they when we liberated Iraq? Where were they...well you get the picture.
If you ask me, and you always should, we don't need peace medals. Look at Dick Cheney. You wouldn't even try to give him a peace medal. George Bush didn't need a peace medal, and look what he did. (Anyone remember "Mission Accomplished"?)
Now it doesn't take a smart man to figure out that Republicans aren't known for winning peace medals. Unless they shot the other nominees.
Because we're Americans. And we take what we want. And we also love our guns.
But we don't want this. So I say, take it back, Mr. President! If you're as smart as the huge majority of the people in this country think you are, take back that medal! You said it yourself: "I'm not worthy to stand among the other recipients of this award."
This great country stands for one thing: freedom, and the right to invade it on others. And if you don't understand that, then you don't understand freedom, and the right to invade it on others.
Thank you, and God Bless America.
