Monday, November 07, 2011

C-3PO Jailed

C-3PO, the copper-plated droid who played R2D2's fretful sidekick in the popular Star Wars series, was sentenced yesterday to 1 year in jail after being found guilty of stalking.

The ruling comes after Mr. 3PO failed to comply with a restraining order for harassing George Lucas, whom he blames for emotional damages suffered during the filming of the first three Star Wars films.

According to his agent, C-3PO endured abduction by Jawas, being gifted into slavery under Jabba the Hutt by Luke Skywalker, a beheading, a backwards re-heading, having to learn over 6 million forms of communication, getting an eye chewed out, being blown into pieces, numerous falls, impersonating a deity against his will, and being forced to perform naked.

A representative for Mr. Lucas said that C-3PO approached him two years ago at a science fiction convention, where he was curtly "flipped off" and told to "go chase himself." Another incident occurred weeks later, when 3PO was asked to leave a restaurant after staring into the front window where Lucas was dining with friends. 

The droid's problems began during the first shoot, when a panic attack caused him to throw up his arms and hit a switch that activated a trash compactor in which the actors were rehearsing. Lucas unintentionally added to C-3PO's humiliation by putting that take into the final version of the film.

R2D2 could not be reached for comment, but according to his agent, he feels very "beep boop beep" for his friend and hopes that C-3PO can "boop-ee-doop" from this setback.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Now there is some fine, fine script...clean and very clever!