Sunday, April 09, 2006

Popcorn Lust

I bought an air popper at Target today. It blows. Half the kernels just kind of fell out with the ones that popped. Some shot out like I'd packed it with gun powder. The butter melted fine.

When I was a college freshman I got a Black and Decker air popper because they didn't allow microwaves. (Too evil?) It was a well-built, self-contained appliance. Loud, sure -- but that thing could air-pop a buffalo if the need arose. (It didn't.)

Yet here we are, 17 years later -- 17 years to perfect the science of air poppage -- and I'm zipping up a flak jacket and barking orders at my wife (who, I'll admit, is neither getting caught up in the drama nor firing the flares like I asked her to).

So we turned to the Internet, as do all who survive a war with a household appliance. We went to Sears, Kohl's, Bed Bath & Beyond, Herbergers, JCPennys, Linens & Things (whatever the hell that is), Walmart, and even Black and Decker, who no longer makes them. Every model looked the same as the one I bought, basically a Pez dispenser with a backwards Darth Vader helmet.

All I'm saying is, don't buy an air popper unless you are filming a war movie that takes place in your kitchen.

6 comments:

butter said...

My parents have found the same problem with coffee makers -- they had one that was 15 years old, it broke, they looked for a new one and couldn't find one that 'fit their standards'.

I guess people aren't entirely wrong when they say, "They just don't make 'em like they used to."

Mom said...

Hey there...we may still have the old Black and Decker! Anyway, Dad, the expert popcorn popper, could walk you through the ins and outs of air poppers...he has MUCH experience!

paul said...

have you tried lighting the kernels on fire?

Cinthia said...

What's wrong with making popcorn the traditional stove top way? It's very easy. Just put them in the pan in oil then cover them. Then wait and let them do their magic in there.

team gingerbread said...

yup, that's what we do at my house. tastes great too!

Ma Titwonky said...

Thanks for the advice! I shall certainly keep it in mind. :)